Story: Live to love

This story has been written a long time ago, about 4 or five years. Initially, my idea for it has come from my closest friend’s situation. When we were in the last year of high school we had to bear pressure to pass the entrance exam and were about to live far from our family. My friend became anxious and worried about the future as the only child in her family, so she tried to study and work to release her family’s burden. I could remember her stomachache and how strong, independent she was at that time, which inspired me to write this story. She was my first reader because this story was made for her, and to make her change her mind about happiness and love. Gradually, the time has passed by and we have grown up as the tough girls. I have not made it public, but sometimes I reread it to remind me, and her of how important the family and love are. And I want to tell it to others that: We may not be so lucky as some people, but we still have the family and friends behind our back, which are the most precious presents we should not forget, and we should live to love, not live to bear.

Live to love

– Hi Kim, can I ask you one thing? What is your favorite kind of flower?

–           I’m very busy, Mimi, see you later

–           But my teacher asked me to draw my favorite flower and I have to submit tomorrow, help me, please…

Ignoring the little girl in front of me, I hurriedly took my bike and left home.

–           Mimi, I will help you when I go home, see ya!

–           You are always saying that but you go home late and then sleep- Mimi said, looked unhappy.

I went home at about 10 p.m. It was late and I was about to sleep when Mimi knocked on my door. Mimi was the daughter of my host family. Sometimes, I helped her with her homework, but recently I hadn’t had enough time for her. Two years ago, an accident had come to my father. He’d had to quit his job and stay home, so everything had depended on my mother’s grocery. Plus, my younger brother started high school and the tuition was quite expensive. To released the financial burden, I decided to work in a shift in a café to earn extra money for renting the house because I stayed in another city to study. Every day, I quit my breakfast, went to university, and then worked a 5-hour shift, that’s why I rarely helped Mimi since then.

I opened the door for Mimi and helped her with her unfinished picture. While drawing, my phone rang. It’s Tim, my best friend:

–           Hey Kim, tomorrow let’s go and buy something for the coming birthday- He enthusiastically said.

–           Oh, Whose birthday?

–           Don’t you remember it?- Tim’s surprised

–           Ah sorry, I forgot your birthday, I’m so absent-minded.

–           What? It’s not my birthday, it’s OUR birthday!- he’s screaming on the phone.

Tim and I were born on the same day. We had been friends for nearly 20 years and we always celebrated together. However, since I was too busy with my work I didn’t remember our birthday. Although I had promised myself not to forget it, I still couldn’t remember. He must be so disappointed!

The next morning, I waited for Tim in the campus while hurriedly biting a piece of pizza. But suddenly, the appointment was moved to …my school infirmary. Tim looked at me anxiously:

–           See what I told? I had told you millions of time about your stomachache. If I hadn’t come, who would have brought you there? This isn’t the first time you faint.

So, instead of buying a cake, we went to a hospital. Tim persuaded me so hard because it’s the second time I’d fainted. Before that, I’d been so hesitant to do the complicated medical tests as I thought that my health was ok and It’s just a waste of time and money.

A few days later, I and Tim came to pick up the test result. In a white and quiet room, a doctor wearing his white blouse and a pair of thick glasses looked at me, feeling compassion for a young girl with a symptom of a serious disease. He said

–           You get Acute Pancreatitis. It’s become very serious. You ought to get treatment as soon as possible, or even have a surgery.

My ears suddenly were buzzing like many bees flying inside. What? Acute Pancreatitis? Surgery? I’d never thought about that. I was still very young, why did I get this disease? How could I pay for the treatment and surgery when I still struggled to live in this crowded and strange city alone? All of these questions came up to me. I got out of the hospital like a dead, thinking nothing, hearing nothing. I just tried to escape away. Tim run after me and said something, but I ignored and caught a random bus passed by.

The bus stopped, accidentally it took me to a coffee shop that I used to work in. It was the manager of this café who taught me to play guitar when seeing me so into these beautiful guitars hung on the wall. The day I left this shop to work in another shop with a higher salary, he just sadly smiled, told me a joke that I was a materialist.

The café was still there, as peaceful as it used to be, bright and warm with the copper strings of the guitars twinkling under the sunlight. Somewhere inside, a customer was playing a blue song, making the atmosphere more sorrowful. “Goodbye, papa it’s hard to die when all the bird is singing in the sky…”. The lyric of this song made me speechless. I didn’t know why I thought about death and my family. These days I’d always thought that I was so much strong that nothing could make me cry, but the death suddenly showed up in my mind so fiercely. If one day I couldn’t see my family, my friends, who would remember me when I event gradually didn’t keep in touch with them as I buried myself to earn money and study like this. I missed my family, my mother a lot. It’d been a long time since I last heard her voice. Every time she called, I didn’t have time for her. I took my phone and made a call for my mother.

–           Hey Kim, long time no hear your voice, what have you been up to?- my mother happily answered my phone.

–           Mom, …

–           What’s the matter with you? Are you crying?

–           Mom, I miss you, I…

–           Hey, why are you crying, my dear?

I canceled the call. It’s hard for me to keep calm, and I didn’t want her to know that I was about to cry.

It’s late in the evening when I tiredly walked to my rented room. Tim and Mimi were outside waiting for me with the anxious faces. Tim saw me approach him, he angrily screamed:

–           Hey Kim what are you doing all this day without answering my phone? Do you know that we are very worried…

–           Tim, I couldn’t do that- Seeing Tim, I immediately burst into tears- I’m not brave to face with it. I’m going to die soon, is it true? How can I tell it to my mom!

–           What? Die? Who tells you that you will die huh?- Tim burst out laughing- No one says that you will die, you idiot!

–           Huh?

Tim couldn’t stop laughing. He gave me a piece of paper while still laughing.

–           You see, it’s your test result. You just had a small problem with your stomach, and you fainted because you didn’t eat enough nutrition. They gave you the wrong paper, but you just saw the name which was accidentally similar to your name without looking carefully at other information. And then you quickly went out of the hospital, ignored me running after you to give you the proper result after the doctor found that he was mistaken.

–           What? Really?- my face slackened.

–           Yeah, you don’t have to die, just take some medicine, eat well, don’t skip the breakfast or eat pizza all day. I think you should work less and care for yourself more. You are a normal girl, not a superwoman, so don’t force yourself too much like this. And your parents, they should know about your situation. I guess that they don’t want their daughter to lie to them that she is very fine anymore.

I read the test again, smiled happily when realizing that I was still alive. I called my parents and told them. My mom was worried about me and gave me a scolding. She said that I shouldn’t work too much because when my dad retired and helped her with the grocery, her work became thriving. As for my brother, the boy who was as smart as his older sister, got a scholarship, so I didn’t have to think about the financial burden at all.

On the birthday of me and Tim, Mimi gave me a pot of sunflower. She wanted me to take care of it carefully and didn’t let it “sick” like me. Actually, after this horrible moment, I didn’t dare to underestimate the importance of my health. There were many, many things that were much more important and precious than money. I was still young, and I should live to love, to contemplate this beautiful time.


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